Back to the routines

Today has been a long day. Master is starting to give me small tasks and trying to get back into routine around here. This means i need to be a good slave and get my butt back in gear. Master wants me to take things slow and i will listen and follow His lead.

melody and Master had a session last night. i got to watch and it was really amazing. The ease in which melody submits and relinquishes total control is amazing to me. i usually have this internal struggle that melody doesn't seem to have or show. i also got to help out with the aftercare and i loved that too. It made me feel a part of things again! i can't wait to feel Masters hands and ropes on my body again. Oh how amazing it feels to have someone fondle you and caress those sensitive parts:) Okay i am going to stop or i will just make myself all horny again. Master told me there would be no orgasms for me....oh man!

It has been nice to catch up on blogs. i am starting to slowly feel reconnected. i missed reading and sharing here way more than i thought i would.

W/we are going to a munch in a few weeks and i am excited about that. We have invited our new friends Master Don and His slave susie along with emma. i don't know if emma will go but i really hope so!!!!!

i am off to help out with dinner
lucy

lucy posting

i have been reading blogs and playing around on the Internet and it is making me horny. It has been a LONG time since i have had any release, so it is easy to get my juices flowing:) It is fun to have all these thoughts in my floating around in my head. It is a nice change from the past months. There is less worry and tension around here....a much needed change.

melody is back working full time. i know she missed it and i am eternally grateful for all that she sacrificed during my recovery. i have never met anyone with such commitment (except for Master) she amazes me every day with her strength, drive and energy. Honestly i don't know how she does it all. i am excited to spend more time with her little guy again....fun, fun!! Kids are so full of life. i can't quite keep up with him yet but soon he will have to keep up with me:)

Master is back to working part-time and has to take a trip soon. He has to go back east for a few days before the holidays. It will be hard without Him and He will be greatly missed. melody and her mate are going to stay with me and help out around here.

W/we have been talking about making some changes in our living arrangement. Master lives on a large plot of land and has a guest house in the back part of the property. melody's commute to work and home and here and then back home again is becoming a lot of time spent in the car. Not to mention the weather is changing and the snow is going to start making thing difficult. Master and melody's mate are discussing moving the three of them out to Master's property. melody and i are very excited about that idea! There aer lots of logistics to work out but hopefully in the New Year there will be some delightful changes coming our way.

melody's Mate is really taking a liking to the lifestyle!!!! i am not going to say much there but it is all good!!!!

i guess that's all i have for now. Anyone have a link to a good site with stories??

lucy

Long Time

Hello everyone, this is lucy.....posting for the first time since the accident. Master wanted me to start posting again. He thinks it will help bring me back to focus on my submission. i can't even remember the last time i felt like a slave. It has been a very long hard time these past months. i can honestly say that i am not the same person anymore. i almost died and as much as it is cliche to say that it changed me....IT DID! i look at my life differently....not that i would change anything. More that i need to live more in the moment. i need to make sure i don't wait to do things anymore...there may not be a later.

i want to give a huge Thank You to my Master and melody. They have been two of the most amazing people. Never giving up on me and always standing by my side. When i think of the bigger picture i cry because i am SO lucky to have the family i have. People think of family as people who share in your blood line, but i disagree. my true family is not even blood related to me....they are my friends. i love my family more than i could ever express in words!!!

i have been reading and catching up on all the blogs/journals that i missed. It has been nice to reconnect to my life. i haven't served Master in so long that i didn't know if we would be able to go back to the way we were. Then Master told me that we will never go back because we are not the same people anymore. We are changed by what happened and our journey will reflect that. Of course we will be Master & slave, but it's like we have to begin again in some ways. i think it will be good for us and i am really excited to step back into my role at Master's feet.

On a little different note.....
The doctors say i will be able to resume 'normal' activity in about a month. YEAH!!! i can't even tell you all how excited i am to get back into the real world.

Thanks for all your well wishes....and for sticking around!!
Oh yeah, melody wanted me to post a link to a new friends journal... Her name is emma and she is such a sweet girl. she is new to the cyber world but really needs to reconnect with the lifestyle. i just helped her set up her journal.........
http://emmabegin.livejournal.com/

Thanks to all!
lucy

It has been an interesting couple of days for me. Sir felt it was time i spent more than a couple hours being His. i spent the entire weekend being His. It had a few ups and downs for me but we weathered the storm together. One thing i wanted to write about was spending time in the closet. This is a new space that Sir has created to keep me isolated but close by. This will ultimately be used for lucy but i am breaking it in for her...hmmm:)



When i was first placed in the closet i felt like i was going to panic. i wanted out for it has been a long time since i have spent any time in isolation. i went from panic to calm to worried. i became worried about all the things i wasn't doing. How i was spending time sitting when i should be productive. the past few months thee hasn't been much time for resting let along sitting and doing nothing. Every moment was precious. Then i realized i was doing something......i was serving Sir. Maybe i wasn't actively doing anything but this is what He wanted and i needed to be content in that. It was an interesting moment for me. i spent the rest of the time wishing i could be with Him. i wanted to see Him. touch Him, look at Him.

i felt very needy the longer i stayed in there.
i felt guilty for feeling needy
i wanted Him

Why do i have this cycle of thoughts when i am in isolation? why do i worry about my vanilla life when i am in the middle of intense submission? Should i feel guilty about it?
i DO!

my circle

i have had the opportunity to be all the people i love the most in this world. We did a combined dinner tonight with Sir, lucy, my mate, myself and my wee one. We had a wonderful time and i can honestly say that i am in love with my family. It was wonderful to have us all together. Watching my wee one put smiles across the faces of four adults was amazing and he of course loved the attention. He is SOO happy to see lucy again and know that she is okay. He never really understood what was happening because we sheltered him from it....to a degree. Sir and my mate decided how to deal with tthat and i think the decision they made really did work out okay. It is never easy to decide how to address tragedy with little ones. Now watching us all together again makes me SO happy i honestly don't have any words.

Sir and my mate are going to start working on putting rules and protocols back into action. There were many things that stayed in place the past few months but there were also things that got lost. We are all ready for some normalcy and i am beyond ready for my rules to be put back into place. my mate is going to take a more active role in my submission which i am beyond excited about. Sir seems really interested in having a male companion too. It just seems like our circle is really coming together. i am not totally naive in thinking that things will be perfect but i am just enjoying the calm after the storm.

i am on orgasm restriction. This is a nice and evil restriction. i am enjoying the boundaries more than i thought i would but i am also feeling my need grow. i want to feel Sirs hands on my body. i want to feel the stroke of the whip. i feel needy and feel a bit insecure int hat. i kn ow things will soon feel more in place.....it just can be along struggle getting there. (internally and outwardly)

Until next time........

Text messages

i am working late tonight.....

While at my desk i received a text message from Sir instructing me to give myself an orgasm, in my office before i went home. Sir also told me that this would be the last one for a while. i think i read the message about 50 times wondering if He was serious....well of course He was serious....but it just took me by surprise. i haven't received any instructions like that in so long i honestly didn't know how to respond. many feelings overcame me........excitement, fear, need, and a nice calmness about the sternness that i could read into the text. i could hear Sir telling me this as if i was there in His presence. Then a few minutes later i received another text that read, I am reclaiming what is mine!

That statement alone made me realize how much i needed this again. How much i longed to be reclaimed. It isn't as if i have lost any of my submission to Sir....it's more like things have been on hold. i have been serving Him in other ways....ways that needed to be taken care of. There are so many levels of submission and ours took on a new look for a while. Now i realized Sir was wanting to take it deeper again and that made me want to please Him more than anything. It didn't take long for me to get wet or to orgasm for that matter. i thought of all the things we had overcome int he past months and realized that my submission was truly deeper than any i had ever experienced before.....now i just want more!!!!!

Starting fresh

October starts a new page in our story. lucy is home and we are all adjusting to the new schedule and the new nurse that is coming in to help out. School has started for me and i just can't be around as much as i used to be or would like to be. i am teaching a full load this term and loving it. my interns are awesome and really know their stuff. Last term i got stuck with a bunch of interns who knew nothing and it made it difficult to really delegate with out fear. This bunch seems knowledgeable and there aer a few that i actually taught which makes things even easier.

Sir Michael is doing wonderfully. i can see the skip in His step has returned since lucy came home. He has His family back and is loving it....we are all loving it!!! It seems that this whole experience has really brought us all closer. It is weird that trauma brings people closer but it really helps put priorities in perspective.

We are all happy and together. Life is good for the time being. i am not naive enough to think it will stay that way but i am hopeful.

Until next time...........

Good News

i have some amazing news.......
lucy woke up yesterday!!!!!!!!!!

This is something i prepared myself to not happen and now that it has it makes me realize that there really are miracles int he world. All the doctors told she would probably never come back to us and if she did she wouldn't be herself. Well they were WRONG! She is back and although she is weak she is herself. she is alive and hopefully will maintain this way. i am on cloud nine!!!! It will be along road of recovery for her but she is with us and that is all matters.

When everything going on we thought maybe we would close this chapter of our lives but Sir has given it some thought and realizes He isn't going to give up because things are hard. It is just another bump in our road. We are strongest as a unit and we shouldn't walk away from things just because it gets hard.

There hasn't been much BDSM to talk about. That has taken a back burner for such along time. With all our schedules and hospital time it hasn't been time to really connect on that level. i can say that i am honestly feeling the desire growing inside me. It's like i just didn't think about it. Mostly because it felt wrong to think about that kind of need in a time like this. i felt selfish and ridiculous for even thinking about asking for some release. i know Sir could tell my need was there but neither of us wanted to go there. It was as if we just brushed it all under the table and now that things are looking brighter i feel like it might be okay to think about it now. Is that totally horrible?

i have been reading anew blog recently......A view from the floor
i have to say that i am really enjoying reading her words. It is a bit raw for my taste but it is so real and honest that i feel it deserves recognition.

Well i am off to the hospital to bring my little sister some flowers.
Until next time........

A few words

Things have not been well for us recently. lucy had her second surgery and is not doing well. We are all together and are hoping for the best. For the time being we are taking break from this blog. Thank you to all for reading. melody will be posting from time to time.

Goodbye for now......
Master Michael

A Quickie

i just got my ass chewed out for not posting in a month! i had no idea time goes by that fast. i feel like i just updated but looking at the expression on Sir's face i can tell i messed up!!!



Things are going very nicely here. Sir is pretty much 100% up and running. It is nice to not be the only one who is functioning. Sir still has limited work schedule so lucy is having lots of TLC! It is so nice to watch Sir take care of her. Even thought lucy is the submissive it is refreshing to see the love. Sir is not only a Dominant....He is a human in love. i feel refreshed by that



i am still working more than i would like. i can't seem to leave my students....go figure:)



There is so much to update on and i only have five minutes....sorry! i will be back with more of a BDSM update......or my ass is grass and you all know what Sir is:)



Until next time........

melody

Finally a moment to sit.....

Sorry it has taken me so long to update.

lucy is home and it has taken a while to adjust to our new routine. i am SO happy to have her home and i can tell that she is much happier. Everyday has its challenges for her but she is getting stronger and once she is out of the wheel chair then the Doctors are going to schedule her second surgery. (Unless of course her condition worsens) her physical therapy is going much better. lucy tends to resist things that are hard for her (which i think is natural) but she is really, really, really, hard on herself when things don't come easy. i try and help her see that physical therapy is supposed to be hard or you would need it. There was a point where she was refusing to do it at all and Sir had to step and put His foot down. i know she wants to heal quickly and i can only imagine how she feels, but resistance will not get her healed quickly.

It has taken a bit but i think we are finally falling into a good routine. It has been a really hard struggle to balance things, and there was a point where i didn't think i could do it all. Between work, home, my wee one, my mate and all the things i need to do at Sir's house it is draining. i am not trying to complain. There are just moments when i feel weak and i know i need to be stronger. A typical day for me begins at 4:30am and doesn't end until about 11:00pm. After a few weeks, or months actually, of all this it is taking a toll on me. Sir actually hired some extra help recently because with the school year winding down my work schedule is going to get more hectic in the next month. i will not be teaching a full load of summer classes this quarter so that will help.

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As for my submission i had a really hard internal struggle recently. The other night Sir decided He wanted to use me. Of course this is His right but that night i REALLY did not want to be used. i was tired and irritable and felt used already. i had been going since 5:00am and it wasn't until 10:30 that Sir decided to string me up and use me. It was a really hard mental place for me.

i have given myself in submission to Sir and He can do with me as He pleases when He pleases. i know this and i love this and want this. i need and want to relinquish that control to Sir, but that night was the first time in a long time when i wanted to say no. All i wanted to do was curl up in my bed and sleep sweet dreams. It was a true testament to myself and my submission because i didn't rebel. i released all my resistance and gave myself to Sir. It was hard but i did it for Him. i didn't release myself for my own desires i was there solely for Sir. It was a nice, however hard, reality check for me. i needed to be put into my place and once i was at Sir's feet i actually felt more contentment than i had in weeks.

Thank you Sir!

Until next time......
melody

Lots of Love

Lucy will be coming home in two days!

It seems the doctors are going to wait on the second surgery. they want her to be stronger so she will continue with her physical therapy and once she is strong enough she will have the second surgery.

i am SO happy! i can't even put into words how i feel. i am relieved, happy, comforted, emotional, and very much in love. This whole experience has made me take notice of my love for both Sir Michael and lucy. i didn't realize how much i loved them. It is somewhat sad that it take something like this to make me see it. my heart thumps with so much love and respect for them it almost hurts.

i am thankful for my husband and my son
i am thankful for my Sir and lucy
i am thankful for my health
i am thankful for my ability to love
i am thankful for the love i receive from all the people in my life
i am thankful for my strength
i am thankful for all the support i feel here
This list could go on and on but these are the most important to me

Until next time......
melody

The Cage

This afternoon i spent a few hours in the cage. It has been some time since i did this and i actually had a really hard time with it. At one point i begged to be released. i usually can work threw moments like that but for some reason i couldn't talk myself down. i wanted out and Sir was not having it. He actually got really frustrated with me and gagged me.

i couldn't get myself into the right place to be there. i had a million and one things to do and that was all i could think about. i couldn't focus on my submission at all. Why am i struggling? Why would i struggle against something i generally like?

i am filled with guilt. i want to please Sir so badly it hurts.....but all i could do was think about myself. Why? Grrrrr.... i am really frustrated with my attitude. Sir told me i will be punished for pushing so hard and not listening. i think i deserve much more than a caning. i feel like a bad sub.

Until next time........

melody

Update/Question

lucy is doing good. Yesterday was a hard day for her...she was in a lot of pain. Today she seems to be stronger and feeling better. she will be starting physical therapy soon and so we are all excited about that. W/we also talked to the Doctor about her coming home. With the possibility of the other surgery still looming over U/us the doctors think it best for lucy to stay for at least two more weeks. Ideally they would like to see her have that surgery and not leave until after that recovery, but lucy is really feeling the itch to get home. Being in her own environment would be really good for her, but Sir is being very protective and cautious. He feels if the doctors want her to stay then she should stay....they wouldn't insist on it if she didn't need it.



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In my comments lee ann asked: How are you not jealous in your current situation? How are you okay with sharing Sir Michael with lucy?


W/we all really care for one another and it makes us happy to see each other happy and satisfied. There is a lot of love here in our world.

Our positions in the relationship are clearly defined. We maintain a very open line of communication. If there is any tension or someone is not happy we address it right away. This dynamic really works for us but it isn't always easy.

there is more i want to say here but i am out of time for today. i have read a few blogs that talked about poly relationships and also people who have to indulge their kinky desires by stepping out of their marriage or 'vanilla' world. i have lots to say but not enough time today....sorry.

More to come next time......
melody

A good day

lucy is doing SO much better today. i went to visit her and washed her hair and put her in her own pajamas so that she would be more comfy. she is moving around more and more each day which means she is getting stronger. We found out this morning that she may need to have one More surgery but we opted to give her more time to build some strength before we discussed it further. lucy really is adamant about not having any more surgery, she doesn't like be knocked out. Sir gave her this very stern look and told her that she would do what is needed to make herself the better, and if that meant surgery then that is what she would do. lucy just bowed her head and replied with a yes Sir. The doctors gave us all a strange look but Sir does not care one bit.

After we met with the Doctors i took Sir home and got Him situated with some lunch, magazines and a movie. i went back to the hospital and spent some much needed girl time with lucy. lucy is feeling really depressed. All she wants to do is serve Sir but she can't. i told her that she is serving Sir by getting better. The more she focuses her energy on getting better the faster she will regain her strength. we both cried and talked and hugged. It was so wonderful to finally be able to hold her in my arms.....without feeling like i was going to crush her. All in all it was a good day for us......and we really needed to reconnect emotionally. There is so much i want to say to her but i can't always find the right words.

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Sir asked me to write about something D/s related. He thinks it will help keep me focused. He told me that He is going to push and use me a bit more than usual and wants my mind to refocus on my submission. i agree!

Anyone have any ideas for me?? A questions or comment you would like my opinion on?

Until next time.....

melody

Letting it out

Today i cried. One of those cleansing cries that only happens so often. i feel so sad inside that i finally couldn't hold any more in. i feel much better now....ready to take on the next few months of hard work.

lucy is doing better and better with each day. A BIG thank you to all the support that has come in.

Until next time....
melody

Tired

i am exhausted. All day i run from one place to another....from home to work, then to Sir's house then back to my house to deal with my wee one then to the hospital and back to Sir's house. Sometimes i have to sleep at home or have my little guy stay with me at Sir's house. i am run down and a bit overwhelmed. All my free time i want to spend at the hospital but i can't. i have so many other responsibilities that i can't just be at the hospital.

i am tired and could definitely use a rest.

lucy is doing great. She is tired but definitely on the mend. It wills till be a long haul of rehabilitation but i think she will do great. It is comforting to know she is doing better. The stress of worrying about it and feeling total sadness inside. i am happy that she is getting better.

i am off to cook dinner.
Until next time.....
melody

An Adventure

lucy actually talked to us today for the first time!!!! Oh my god i am on cloud nine!!!!!

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This is from Sunday.....didn't get to finish it till today.

Great news......lucy is doing much better!!!! she is regaining strength everyday and seems to be maintaining a positive streak. We are continuing to be hopeful and are supporting her 100%.

i have a tendency to retreat into myself during times of intense emotional stress. i hate to be seen weak and i feel i must be strong for everyone else. If i am down and out then the whole world will fall apart....right???? HAHA! Sir is making write Him a daily email expressing how i am feeling? Where i feel weak and where i feel strong? and why? It has become a hard email to write because once i got past the easy emotions it becomes harder and harder. i have to go deeper and deal with some demons. i am feeling stronger than i have ever felt in my life and i know i am loved and supported. i just need to keep it real and not be sucked into myself. Sir is being great but He is pushing me.



i want to write about a surprise Sir gave me....or i suppose it was for Him, but man did i enjoy it too. i feel somewhat guilty for writing this with the hard emotional situation we are all in right now. Sir says we both needed a little release and He gets what He wants. Okay, so here goes.....


"Go up stairs, remove all your clothes and prepare yourself to be used." Sir whispers softly into my ear

"What? Please You must be kidding." my idiotic reply

Sir quickly grabs my hair, pulls my head back, and loudly repeats Himself.

"i am sorry Sir i forgot my place for a minute.....sorry Sir" my plead before the storm

i go upstairs and get myself ready. All the while thinking about what is in store for the evening. i was just cleaning figuring i would be cooking and cleaning most of the night.....well i was wrong! YIPPEEEE!!!! i felt my clit pulsing in excitement.

Once prepared i went back down stairs and presented myself to Sir. (arms behind my head, legs spread as wide as possible, back slightly angled to push my bottom out a little, cuffs and collar) Sir just looked at me for a long time and didn't say anything. He slowly walked around me and examined me and all my private parts. Probing me in all my sensitive areas. Then He reached in between my legs and i thought i was going to orgasm with the first bit of pressure on my clit. i practically lost my balance (which you do NOT want to do)

Sir informed me that our friend, Master Page, was coming over to help in the evening festivities. (Sir is unable to physically give me a proper beating so He had to enlist a little help) i was instructed to show Master Page complete respect and do everything He asked. Any hesitation on my part would result in punishment. i have to say that when i heard it was Master Page i felt immediately nervous. i am SOOOOO attracted to this man it is like a school girl rush. Every time He touches me i practically faint.

Moving ahead........

When Master Page arrived i served drinks and the men made casual conversation while i knelt in the corner trying not to fall over:) After drinks i was lead upstairs and my arms were strung up over my head and pulled very tightly. i was on my tip toes but i was given a pair of heels to help.....very much appreciated that. Sir went and put music on and Master page continued to tie me into place. No body said anything to me directly. they talked about em and to each other but not to me. i was like an object in the room and it felt very exciting!!! my legs were tied to two eye bolts in the floor. my breasts were bound with rubber bands and once they were plump and purple Master Page attached alligator clips to them. i screamed out in pain.......that was rectified rather quickly with a ball gag.

Once the men were satisfied Sir pulled a chair up right in front of me so i could see Him clearly. Then Master Page started in on my back and thighs. First with a leather flogger then a crop......then three different canes and a belt. After He was done with my back side He moved to my front making me scream from behind my gag. i seriously thought i was going to bust out of my binds i was straining so hard. my breasts were on fire and there was nothing i could do about it. i was given a few breaks in between instruments but this beating was a long, hard one.

i was taken down and held and supported by both men. i felt like a goddess.....a submissive one that is....hehehehehe. Sir told me i was to pleasure Master page as a thank you for His services. i eagerly took that cock in my mouth and gave that man a blow job like i hadn't had cock in years. It was beautiful and i loved it. Even if it wasn't Sir i did it for Him and that was enough.

Sir also informed me that i wouldn't be allowed to orgasm until He was the one to give it to me. my pussy throbbed with more excitement than it has in a long time. i LOVE orgasm control. As hard as it is i LOVE it!!!!! Sir was proud of me and i was content. A beautiful night!!!!

Quick Update

The last 24 hours have been a small blessing. lucy's vitals and lungs are doing much better. This has us all feeling very hopeful. I realize that some would like more detail but i am not ready to write it all out.

We are together and we are strong.

Sir is doing better with each day. If He would just rest then He would recuperate faster but He is the Dom.....Ugh! i wish He would listen to me at times. There really are times when the submissive is right........isn't there?

Sad News

It has been a long couple of weeks for us. About three weeks ago Sir Michael and lucy were in a car accident. Both had very serious injuries. Sir Michael came home a few days ago and lucy is still in the hospital. She is in critical condition and we are not sure what is going to happen.

i have been putting off coming here for it is really hard for all of us to accept. It is so hard when bad things happen and there is no rhyme or reason for it. i know everyone is waiting for the pictures and more updates on my Domme experience but i just haven't felt right about continuing on here like nothing happened. Sir Michael told me i had to at least post a quick update and when i am ready i am to write more about my Domme experience. He feels keeping me focused will help with all my emotions. i think He is right.

i am staying with Sir for a while to help Him around the house. He is on crutches and needs constant attention for He had to have two surgeries. We hired a nurse for the times when i am at school and then i pick up my wee one and off to Sir's we go. Everyone has been great support around us and together we will get threw this.

i apologize for our inconsistent posting and per my Sir's orders i will be posting regularly again soon.

Until next time.....

melody