Bits and Pieces

this is lucy......

i have become a domestic goddess....well i would like to think that i have. i have been spending most of time around the house focusing on Master and my submission. It has been nice but there is a delicate balance for me. If i am inside for too long i get stir-crazy. i need to be out and experiencing life. Master and i are going to find a way to create this balance. He seems to know what He is doing if i could just trust in that 100%.

There are moments when i feel like a bad slave for i can't release 100% of myself. i am still holding onto to things that Master wants me to let go of. He says it is my age but what if i am always going to be like this. Does it mean i am not truly meant to be submissive. Maybe this is the difference people talk about between a sub and a slave. i want to release myself 100% to Master but i struggle. i get mad at myself and then i act out. Then i am filled with guilt. Thus far things have been great. Having melody helps tremendously. i find that not being alone so much helps me.

i am trying Master
i am scared but ready
i am Yours....

Sorry for the delay

i know it has been along time since i have posted anything but my life is insane right now. i am a teacher and mid-terms have come and gone and now we are gearing up for finals. my vanilla life is always hectic with a wee one and my time with Sir Michael has been limited. i have been given a reprieve in my journal posting but it seems i just don't have time to post at all or when i do have time i just can't muster the energy to post. i actually get a lot of comfort and support from reading blogs but can't seem to give the same commitment to the blog world. i give many props to those post everyday.....i wish i could do the same. i did with Cloud but when Sir doesn't punish if i don't....then i don't feel the pressure to post.

Things are good though!

lucy and i are getting along wonderfully and really find support and comfort in each other. It seems like her break has really offered the insight she needed. i find myself loving her and i am not sure that is okay. she is my best friend right now and i am afraid she will betray that......all my other friends have. Some will say that people who betray me aren't really friends, which is true, but i didn't know they would betray our friendship. i couldn't foresee the future then and i can't now. my only hope is that things will keep going in the direction that they have been.

One big change in our world is that my mate has been invited into a few sessions with Sir Michael. It made me so nervous but i really wanted it. i want Him to be a part of this part of my life and i hope He continues to show interest. He told me it really turned Him on but He was nervous to have that much control. Is that normal for Doms? my hope is that He will continue to want to explore.

i know there are people who read our blog and my promise is to try and post at least once a week. i know that isn't much but my life is crazy right now so that is all i can promise for the time. Thanks to all who keep coming back and i hope i can continue to give support to this community.

Until next time.......

The Figging Punishment

i was naked, laying on the floor of the attic. i could see the video camera in front of me along with a pile of ropes. Sir proceeded to tie my hands behind my back lacing the silky rope around my arms all the way to my elbows. Then Sir moved to my ankles and laced my legs tightly together. Then Sir placed me over a pile of pillows so that my ass was fully exposed, pointing ever so nicely right up in His face. i was so embarrassed for some reason. i knew what was coming and i was dreading it.....the ginger. It was a decent size piece of ginger and Sir had peeled it so it was nice and fleshy (as He put it) Sir used the juices from my cunt to lube up the ginger and before i could protest i felt Sir push the ginger right into my rectum....Ugh. Once Sir had things in place the pillows were removed and i was tied into slightly loose hogtie. Usually i can barely move when Sir ties me in a hogtie but He wanted me to be able to wiggle a bit. He wanted to watch me struggle with this burning ginger in my ass. i had nipple clamps and a jaw spreader gag.....i HATE this gag which made it great for this punishment. It instantly makes me drool and i can't stand drooling!!!

At first the piece of ginger was just uncomfortable. Almost like a shit that wouldn't come out. Then it slowly began to burn. little by little the burning got worse. i tried to wiggle the piece of ginger around a bit but all that did was make a new area of my rectum a victim to the burning. i definitely gave Sir the show He was after because i was miserable. i wiggled and moaned and cursed myself from behind all the drool. i became really angry that Sir would put me through this but i realized i needed it at the same time.

After about 20 minutes of struggling it became easier to just settle into the pain and accept it. i knew i couldn't wiggle out of the predicament so i just rode it. i welcomed the pain because i deserved it. i needed to be punished for m y actions and so i wanted Sir to see that i accepted His punishment and i learned my lesson. i had to endure this punishment for 45 minutes which seemed like eternity. Afterwards Sir and i talked and He held me and told me He loved me as His submissive. That He didn't like to watch me suffer through all that but it was necessary. The video isn't for Sir it's for me for future reminder of what happens when i act out.

i suppose i have to say it was successful punishment but it pains me to say it.

Oh yeah ans my ass burned for days to follow....AHHHHH!!!

It's been too long

This morning i looked at the blog and realized how neglectful we have been.

lucy is home....YAY!!! We had a wonderful home coming and many of the 'kinks' have been ironed out. i am sure there will be bumps along the way but we seem stronger and more cohesive. When in a poly type relationship it is easy to get stuck at those bumps. If one person struggles longer than the others it can be difficult. i have learned lots about patience and really hearing someone.

One change is we have more clearly defined relations with one another. I will explore my Dominant side with lucy but she will not with me. It became to hard for lucy to switch roles. I really like the idea of exploring that side of things. i think it will help me understand my submission at a deeper level. It has been along time since i really delved deep into my submission and i am really looking forward to doing it again. lucy on the other hand hasn't had as much opportunity to really experience the depth of submission and she feels she needs to concentrate on that. Master Michael will use us both together from time to time which i really love doing!

i feel like we are complete having lucy home again!

Sir Michael informed me that i will be spending more time in the cage soon. i feel nervous about it but i find that it really helps me center myself within my submission. When locked in a cage you really have no option but to think. It puts me in my place so to speak. i do feel very vulnerable after a session with the cage....almost needy. i think it might be mild sub drop but how can just being in the cage do that. Usually i only experience sub drop after a particularly intense session.

One a more vanilla note.........
i have been given the opportunity to teach a few classes in a more public setting. There are a few restaurants that offer cooking classes to the public and I can't get to teach a session on quick meals with a gourmet feel. This is something i do often at home, and i can't wait tot ouch in with my demographic.

The other day while at school this intern approached me and asked me out for coffee. He wants to talk about some private cooking lessons. i would love to do that and make some extra money but I am nervous. We have this flirty exchange and it really turns me on.....Now this guy is absolutely gorgeous, and i am really attracted to him. Part of me wished we could do the cooking lessons in the nude but that isn't realistic....hehehehe

Until next time......

Oh yeah....i will ahev topost about the figging punishment....it SUCKED!!!!