July 11, 2006

my place

When Master got home last night He grabbed my hair and pulled me into the bedroom. He told me to strip and He took me right there. No warm up, no foreplay.....just a dry fuck. It wasn't about me at all.....it was sole about Master and me giving Him what He desired in that moment.

Sometimes those moments are hard for me. i desire the foreplay most of anything. When Master just 'fucks' me i definitely know my place. It is like He is shoving my position in my face. Which of course is fine....just hits home for me. Those moments are a good reminder for me because i have a tendency to loose sight of my place. Especially with this new job. i have been mouthy lately and Master says i better a handle on it or there will be consequence. i sometimes say things under my breath thinking He wont hear me.....BUT He always hears me. To make it worse He makes me say it to His face and not quietly. That is extremely difficult. i feel horrible having to look Him in the face and mouth off.....Ugh! It is a lesson all in itself.....a hard one but a good one.

i have been exploring other journals and blogs of slaves. It has been very enlightening. i am not alone in any of my feelings or tribulations. i am starting to see the benefit to this blog thing. there seems to be an amazing support system here. Just reading others trial and tribulations is support all on it's own.....amazing! i am excited to continue to explore:)

Before Master left for work He bound my breasts with these leather straps we have. He instructed me to leave them on threw class today. OMG! i have another three hours to go and i am already going crazy. my breasts burn with each movement and my shirt feels like it weighs twenty pounds. i know this is a reminder for me. To help me remember that Master is allowing me this gift of work and i shouldn't let it go to my head. He can take away this privilege at any time. i have to admit it is somewhat nice to have these binds on my breasts.....it makes me feel closer to Master. Makes me feel that He is close even if it hurts like hell!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog,

you write very nicely. I too am training a beautiful, proud, novice submissive. She has quite a few of your own bad habits. we are working through them.

good luck with your journey.