Feelings

i am feeling down today. i got a nasty email and phone call from a friend. This is a person i have known for about 6 years and we have been the closets of friends ever since we met. We no longer live near eachother and it has taken it toll on our friendship. There just isn't enough time in the day for long phone calls or chats online. i have been sending him emails and a link to my blog so he can keep updated on my life....but that isn't enough for him. How do you tell someone you love and care about that you don't have the time for them like you used to....or like they desire? It is hard because i don't want to loose my friendship but i just can't feel badly every time i can't chat. Then i got this email and phone message from him and he just said hurtful things. i know he is hurting and wanted to make me hurt to but all it did was make me angry....and Master too. Master reads all my emails and listens to all my voicemails, so He knows what my friend said and is pissed. Master told me He was going to call my friend and i know i can't stop Him but i wish He would let me handle it. As a slave do i have that right? Should i be allowed to handle this situation? i suppose not and i should trust that Master will do what is right.....BUT Master has a tendency to be blunt and harsh. i am more sensitive and sweet....or more considerate of my friends feelings. Master could care less if my friend is upset at Him....Ugh.

Now onto an interesting story. One i find to be funny but Master doesn't. The other night we were out at a club and Master got into a fight....(hehehe, makes me giggle just thinking about it) Okay so here is the story.....
i really wanted to go dancing and Master being so kind decided to indulge me and take me out to this club i have been wanting to check out. Master choose this short jean skirt with a black tank top. i was showing some skin but tastefully. When we arrived Master ordered me to fetch a round of drinks before i went out on the dance floor. i danced my way to the bar and while waiting for my drinks i started talking to the guys at the bar. i will admit that i can be a bit flirty but nothing out of control. One of the guys asked me if i wanted to dance. Now Master doesn't dance so i brought Him the drinks and asked if i could dance with this guy. Master said yes. (now there are some rules for me dancing with other men....the number one rule is no touching) This guy did not respect my boundaries at all and had his hands and body all up on me. i told him repeatedly to stop and when he didn't i started to walk away. As i turned to walk away the guy grabbed me and pulled me back. By this point Master was on His way out to the dance floor to rescue me. This guy got all pissed and called me very rude vulgar names. Master is usually great about talking people down but this guy was just an asshole. Basically He got up in Masters face and at one point pushed Him. Master did not like that so He punched Him, and knocked the guy down with one swift punch. The reason i laugh is because Master is not the type of person that would get in a fight like this....usually it takes more to set Master off. i will admit that it is flattering to have Him protect me like that. When we got home i had to nurse Master back to good health and He told me we wouldn't be doing that for a long time. Master also told me that we were going to go over the rules of clubbing......and then He gave that evil eye....the one that makes me feel i am in a wee bit of trouble.

Speaking of trouble do you (as a slave) ever feel like you are always sin trouble? Lately i do and it is making me feel down on myself as a slave. i feel like i have been with Master long enough that i shouldn't be getting myself into this much trouble. Master laughs and says i am being to hard on myself and that being a slave is a constant learning process. i just want Master to be happy with His property and always having to dish out another lesson....Ugh! Like i said i am a bit down today and way off topic. sorry i should probably end this now before i stray to far.