Late

Last night i returned home late and Master was not pleased. i am perpetually late and Master can't stand it! He gets this, 'i'm disappointed in you' look. It is a look that makes my heart sink. i know that i am supposed to call if i am going to be late but i knew He wouldn't home. Master says that i could have left a message and He would have received it when He got home. i responded with, "You could just get a cell phone and we wouldn't have this problem." i don't know why i say the things i say or why i don't think before i speak. All i did was dig my hole deeper.

Master made very deliberate movements as He came closer to me and told me to get in attic....followed by a very stern...NOW! Without hesitation i ran tot he attic, removed my clothes, knelt and just waited. It felt like forever waiting there. my knees started to ache from the hardness of the floor and just when i thought i wouldn't stand anymore i heard His foot steps. He entered the room and without any words He proceeded to hog tie me. He attached alligator clamps to my nipples and then gagged me. After He was satisfied with his handy work i go tmy lecture. There is something about that lecture time that really brings home my position in the house. When Master finished i was left to think.....and think i did.

i realize how my actions where not appropriate. i acted like a brat and deserved my consequence. i feel horrible for even having to have that lecture and punishment for i definitely know better. When Master returned He removed the gag and i was given time to express my feelings and apologize for my actions. The rest of my punishment was to spend the night in attic, sleeping on the floor with my collared chained. It is a short chain so i am unable to move around a lot. This is always a really hard punishment for me. i understand why i needed to be punished and accept it.....just wish i didn't get myself into the situation to begin with.

Master told me to write about how posting this makes me feel. It makes me feel very nervous. Nervous that people will judge us. Why should that matter? It shouldn't and i believe that is part of the point of all this. It is a bunch of mixed emotions. hopefully it will get easier to do this.