November 27, 2006

Back to the ropes.....

i decided not to wait till Wednesday to make my first post this week. i being a good sub or just enjoying being on blogger??? Master wants me to think about how this blogging is helping me grow or if it is at all?

Back to the crotch rope:

i think i left off where it was begins to REALLY burn like a rope burn does. i had to wear that damn crotch rope for two more hours. i had to wear it until i finished my chores. (Of course Master gave me this giant chore list) During that 'burn' i had this major internal struggle with myself. i wanted to beg for release but my stubborn side was trying to push threw. i became determined to win out this weaker side of myself. After an hour of acceptance i found myself trying to figure out what Master wanted more. Did He want me to beg for release or did He want me to really push myself? Then i figured He just wanted to me have this internal struggle. There were a few moments where i actually went into His office, stood there silently and then left again. He could tell i was struggling and i think i actually heard Him chuckle.

Well that crotch rope made my clit SO swollen and sore. Just the slightest touch made me jump. i wanted to beg for orgasm but i knew if He touched my clit it would hurt. i was feeling SO needy. It was strange to not know what to do with myself. i decided to let go and follow Master lead. i wouldn't beg for anything just let Master take what He wanted.

Master took me for quite a journey over the weekend. He didn't allow me to orgasm until His family left and that was three LONG days! All the mind play and bondage played off because Master made love to me on Sunday was amazing....and it HURT!!

i am off to study.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I often get to the stage where I wonder whether He wants me to beg, or whether I will be rewarded for "putting up" with things He has instigated. Sometimes I wonder whether He really "knows" how things affect me or whether He is just pushing patience and has full knowledge of the fact I am squirming, mentally exhausted, teary, dying to orgasm or I am sore or or or or etc etc.

I always find I blow it by begging, asking, or telling Him how it is...sometimes I am too overcome to wait...perhaps scared that at the ending there shall be nothingness? Hopefully I am learning that good things come to those that wait....I seem to stuff that most times though! On the times I have not stuffed it, I have never been disappointed....

Does that make sense?