May 30, 2007

The Cage

This afternoon i spent a few hours in the cage. It has been some time since i did this and i actually had a really hard time with it. At one point i begged to be released. i usually can work threw moments like that but for some reason i couldn't talk myself down. i wanted out and Sir was not having it. He actually got really frustrated with me and gagged me.

i couldn't get myself into the right place to be there. i had a million and one things to do and that was all i could think about. i couldn't focus on my submission at all. Why am i struggling? Why would i struggle against something i generally like?

i am filled with guilt. i want to please Sir so badly it hurts.....but all i could do was think about myself. Why? Grrrrr.... i am really frustrated with my attitude. Sir told me i will be punished for pushing so hard and not listening. i think i deserve much more than a caning. i feel like a bad sub.

Until next time........



M:e said...

Oh...why is it that we often punish ourselves so much more than our Masters do??

I've been told in the past that I deserve exactly what he decides I deserve.... no more, no less.

I'm sure you're not being a 'bad sub' all have a lot going on right now. Be kind to yourself.

hugs xxx

wicked kitten said...

you have a lot going on, i cant imagine how hard it is with lucy still in the hospital, and still needing more surgery. hang in there!

Miss Frans wickedkitten