Master read my post and was NOT happy about me being late this morning. The main reason i was late was because i dilly-dally around when i am alone. i need to learn to train my internal voice to not dilly-dally. Being late is one of Master's biggest dislikes.....thus i am in punishment tonight for my tardiness.
i have to sleep in the attic and then i will face 2 smacks with the cane for each minute i was late.....UGH!!!
Well it has been a while since my last post and i know i haven't made my three posts a week task....but Master has allowed me to break while Addy was here. I should mention that she stayed three days longer than she was supposed to....AHHHHH! It was a very long visit and of course she was her usual self. i initially thought about writing about all the little shit she pulled or said but figured it would be wasted energy.....so i am glad she is gone and i am moving forward.
School has started and i am loving it!!!! It is a lot of work but the schedule works out perfect. i am gone after Master in the morning and then home before Him....always there to serve:) It is a very long day but i am adjusting. i start by getting up at 5am. i make Master coffee and breakfast then i hope in the shower. After i dry off while running around naked laying out Master's clothes and making sure He has all His needs met before going to work. Master leaves at 6:30 and i leave around 7. i am hone from school at 3:30 so i can get my chores done and start dinner before Master gets home at 6:00.
We have started to slip into a very routine feel around here.....very vanilla. Master has felt it too because i woke up to an email list of tasks for the day:
1) Wear your nipple clamps to and from school.
2) Masturbate inbetween each class but no orgasm
3) Once home i have to put on the leather breast binders and my chastity belt. i can not remove until Master gets home.
4) Kneel in the corner in the attic starting 30 minutes before Master is due home....wait for Him there.
i hope He has some other fun things in store for us....we shall see. i am glad to be back to some normalcy here. It is nice to be Master and me again:) That is the way i like it the best but it isn't my choice. Well i am off to class....a little late i know.
Master's ex-girlfriend (Addy) is coming to visit. They dated almost 20 years ago and have been friends ever since. Addy is a Domme but we do not play together. She does not like me because she thinks i am not a good sub for Master....or not a good fit for Him. She actually said that to my face....can you believe that!!
Every time she comes to visit i am on edge and very bitter. i know She will fight me for Master's attention and she will order me around. Master says i am supposed to show Addy the same level of respect i would any other Dom/Domme. UGH!!! That is so frustrating for me because do not like her. Have you ever tried to serve and be nice to someone you dislike? It is horrible!!!
Master has reassured me that He loves me and i am the best sub for Him. It is nice to hear that from Him and it makes me feel good. i know Master would never do anything to hurt me on purpose.....but why do we have to allow this woman in our house? i am not allowed to have contact with my Ex's So why does Master get to? i know the answer to that one but wish it wasn't so.....Grrrrr!!
well i am off to feel sorry for myself.....
i have spent the past three nights up in the attic. Sleeping, with my collar chained to the floor....no blankets or pillows. Being alone and having trouble sleeping i have spent lots of time thinking. i HATE sleeping in the attic. It is the one thing i really loath. During my first night thinking i realized that i was bitching and complaining A LOT! (i really hate the attic) Do i really have the right to complain? i mean i am a slave...property of Master. i should be thinking about my submission and how i can grow stronger during these exercises. How i could probably delve much deep er into my submission if i allowed myself to.
These three nights have tested my commitment to Master and He knows it. Usually i will beg and plead for Master to allow me to sleep in His bed. i go to great lengths and usually end up irritating Him. i decided to really focus on my commitment to Him and not verbalize my discomfort. i was going to be Master's slave and do what He asked...not be a brat. (Wow, what a concept...Ugh)
All weekend i have been the devoted, obedient totally subservient slave. the ones you read about in the novels...... i have not verbalized any of my complaints. i have just been grateful to be Master slave. It has been a strange experiment fo me because i really slipped away into a space i have never been before. i got to a point where i didn't think i just acted. It was as if He broke me again but without all the work. It was amazing and scary. i could tell that i shocked Master a few times. Then He started to purposely test me for amusement trying to pull the brat out of me....but i didn't cave. Evil sadist!
This morning Master came to wake me. He took my face in His hands, looked deep into my eyes and said, "this is the slave i always knew was in you lucy." my heart almost stopped.
i am a bit nervous about all this brings to light. i have two more nights in the attic so lots of time to think about it.
