An Idea

Sir told me to thank everyone for their ideas....especially Cloud. Cloud sent me this beautiful email with, what Sir calls, a fabulous idea.

Clouds idea: figging - pealed ginger root soaked in water and inserted into the rectum. The burning sensation for some is unbearable coupled with bondage so that you cannot wiggle. great for tasks where you need to concentrate and even house work. The ginger brings out a new level of punishment.

Sir is going to use Cloud's idea coupled with a good caning with the shower curtain rod. (i tried it out on myself and it stings....i imagine that is nothing compared to Sir's swing) Sir has not decided how many times or how long the punishment will go on for. Ugh.....why can't i just be a good sub. Or at least think before i act.

Thanks everyone for commenting.
melody

Punishment

Ugh........

Sir told me that i have to present a few ideas for punishment. Sir wants me to really think threw my infractions and find a real punishment. (He is REALLY angry with me)

my infractions:
1) Drinking too much
2) Trying to hide my mistake. Then when confronted i tried to make excuses for myself
3) Breaking the shower curtain rod
4) Taking away Sir's ability to use me that night. (This is the big one)

i was thinking that a good hard spanking would be good but i would enjoy that too much for it to be a punishment. Loosing my girls night with lucy...but that would hurt her too. There is a ton of anal options that would totally suck.....Ugh i just don't know what to say. Nothing really appeals to me....Go figure!!!!

Any ideas???

BAD subbie move.....BIG punishment

Last night Sir had a few friends over for cocktails. It was only for an hour or so to show off His new deck to a few co-workers. Sir told me my duties early in the day via email.......my job was to fix a simple appetizer and drinks. Sir told me i was allowed to have a drink too but only one. my first priority was to attend to Sir and His guests. No problem........

Now i had the most HORRIBLE day! Whatever could go wrong went wrong. After work all i wanted to do was go home and have a big stiff drink. i of course could not do that.....NOOOOO i had to go be super nice subbie to a bunch of people i didn't know, and put on a happy face while i did it. Once i got to Sir's house i did as instructed and tidied up the house and put my appetizer together. When the guests arrived i made nice and took drink orders. Now this is where i made my bad choice.......

i knew i could have one drink, SO i made mine extra stiff. (basically all vodka and a splash of tonic) i hadn't eaten much that day so it went straight to my head. i managed to maintain myself through the cocktails and when the guests left i excused myself to the bathroom. i was pretty drunk and didn't want to admit it. i was going to splash a little water on my face and pull myself together.

While looking for a towel i stumbled, lost my balance and fell into the bath tub. All the while pulling down the shower curtain and banging my head into the tile wall. It all happened so fast and i was in total shock. i just laid there stiff as a board. Meanwhile Sir came running down the hallway and burst into the bathroom to make sure i was okay. i was okay.....just a wee bit drunk. i still can't believe it did that......Ugh!!!

Now i am in BIG trouble!!!! punishment undecided as of yet.

Until next time..
melody

My thoughts on the cage

In the previous post melody talks about spending time in the cage. I thought I would give my feelings on it.......

I want more!

The thought of melody helpless and waiting. Wondering what I would do next? How long would I leave her there? Building her desire and curiosity. I can honestly say that I didn't sleep much during my proposed nap. I was to busy handling my erection.

I would like to comment a little on having lucy in the cage. lucy doesn't like the cage. I have been soft with her and not pushed my desire to have her there. After my response to melody being caged I am definitely going to put lucy there more often. I am going to be much stricter with lucy and make her recognize that she is there to satisfy my needs first. I do like to satisfy her too but not as much as she will hope.

That's all for now!
Master Michael

Strange feelings

Yesterday created a strange set of emotions for me. Sir has been really putting me in some strict bondage lately. He really enjoys hog tying me on a table. He moves up to the edge of the table so that my breasts hang over the edge. This allows for easier access to my nipples. Sir attaches my collar to the ceiling hooks so that i don't topple forward. It isn't the most wonderful of positions to be in for a long time but i put a personal challenge on myself to take it longer than the time before. i wonder if other subs/slaves do that? Anyway, we have been having lots of bondage lately and i really needed a rest. my body was killing me and my muscles really needed some down time. i politely asked Sir if i might have some time to rest before we progressed forward. Sir told me that i could but i had to rest in the cage.

OH Man! This is a big challenge for me. i wanted so badly to give the right answer here. i honestly didn't want to rest in the cage. When i asked i had this fantasy idea of resting snuggled in Sirs arms on the nice fluffy pillows........ON THE BED!!! Now my mind was scrambling.....i hate those curve balls Doms throw us from time to time. i decided that i needed the rest so i decided to opt for the cage. Sir seemed surprised....

Sir moved the cage into the bedroom next to the bed. He instructed me to lock my cuffs together and crawl into the cage. Once in the cage Sir told me He was going to nap and i would be left in there for the duration of the nap. He put a blindfold on me and locked the cage.

i was immediately nervous and felt i would never be able to last a couple hours in this cage. i began to use some of my meditation techniques.....Thank you CLoud......and relaxed myself. my thoughts wondered from my submission to all the papers i need to grade. It felt strange to think about work in the situation i was in.....hehehehe.

All in all i think i would say i enjoyed it. it forces you to relax and focus....or center yourself. Once released from the cage i was a moldable submissive to say the least. i was putty in Sirs hands and we both really enjoyed it. Because of the effect it had on me Sir wants to use it more often........Not to sure how i feel about that.....Hmmmmmm:)

i am really enjoying exploring my submission. Sir is wonderful!

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Now onto some great news........lucy will be returning for good next week. i am SOOOO excited and Sir is too! He is like a little kid getting ready for Disney Land. It is refreshing to see such love! They are going to spend some time together and i will be doing odd tasks each day.

Sir told me i will not be allowed to orgasm during that time. (i have no comment on this at this time)

Until next time.........
melody

Random Thoughts

Things in my life are going well....for once. It is super nice to have minimal stress in my life. i love it when things run smoothly...it is when i am happiest. It never seems to last for very long which is the only part that bothers me.

i have been thinking lately about being more in the moment. i think i would enjoy my world and the things i already have if i am more in the moment. When i am in a BDSM setting i am totally in the moment, but you have to be. It is easy to be elsewhere in your brain during everyday life. i find i am always thinking about the future. Preparing, planning, worrying,......it seems is making me unable to truly appreciate the things i already have. If i were to be 100% present in the moment i would enjoy my son and mate more. i would be less stressed because i wouldn't be worrying about all the things i am not doing. It seems simple enough but harder than i realized. It is easy to loose yourself in the future......if you don't like what you see in the moment it is easier to space out on something else. i know i am babbling but that happens to me from time to time....hehehehe

Until next time.........
melody

A Few Emotional Thoughts......

i have been reading a few blogs about emotion in relation to the BDSM lifestyle.....in particular looking at the questions: Do all slaves want emotion from their Dom? For me i wonder if a relationship can be successful without emotion (in any realm)?

When you have a "vanilla" life outside of the lifestyle it can become difficult to give emotionally to both relationships. Of course we have to put our "vanilla" life first and by the time i get tot he BDSM i don't want emotion....to a degree. there are many times when all i want is to be submissive and serve. i want to be used and abused! i want Sir to be stern and strict. i want the leash to be held tightly for that is where i tend to feel the most peace. Now that being said....

submission is a crazy emotional journey. One that touches on SO many emotions. (i tend to be on the more emotional side) There are times when i get confused and insecure about things.....i will question my submission or have a particularly hard session that sends me into an emotional whirl wind........or the ever famous sub drop. During those times i look to my Dom for emotional support. i look to feel that He understands me and can share in the emotional journey as well as the physical journey. i would also guess that this lifestyle can be emotional for Doms too and i would like to share that journey with my Dom....or share in it at least.

i think that a relationship can be successful, without emotion, if you can emotionally support yourself....HA!

i have struggled with this in previous relationships. It is strange to me that someone wouldn't want emotion in any relationship, but everyone has different needs.

Until next time.........
melody

Pondering??? (both girls tonight)

The other night i was sitting with a very close girlfriend of mine. She is what we call 'vanilla'. i am pretty open about who i am with the people who are close to me, so she knows of my adventures in BDSM. Okay so we are sitting around the computer doing some business and she opens my secret photo folder. This is a folder that i store pictures in that stir something within me.......many being extreme BDSM. At first she was shocked but then she very pointedly asked, "Do you want to do these things or do you just fantasize about doing them?" This made me think????

There are a few fantasies that i have....and use regularly while masturbating. (Do others have "staple" fantasies??? HA!) Some of those fantasies i don't know if i would really want to partake in. All the pondering made me realize that there are areas of BDSM that totally turn me on, but i don't know i would want to actually do. Part of me is scared and part of me doesn't want the fantasy to loose it's excitement.

i also remember with my first Master that there were areas He took me to that i never thought i would go. Maybe i just need to find the right person to take me there. Any thoughts??

Until next time..........

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Hey its lucy now..........

i just had the most wonderful time being home with Master and melody. We all spent three whole days together and it was amazing. We talked and really connected. This is something i have been longing for and now that i have it back i am feeling at peace.

i want to write more but for now it has to be short and sweet. i am heading back to my parents for a few more weeks but i know i will be heading back to my real place.....at home with Master!

My girl comes home - Master

My girl is coming home tonight!!!!

I am overwhelmed with emotion. Something that doesn't happen very often. I am a bit concerned for how things might unravel the few days. I want lucy to really find herself before she returns to me.

Subs should not be allowed to pout. I am a sucker for the turned over lip and big, sad eyes. Last night melody gave me that look. The one I can't seem to resist. It amazes me how soft I got. When I realized how she was manipulating me I stood my ground.....but man it was hard to say no to that face.

I am heading out to meet lucy at the airport. I mustn't keep my needs waiting any longer.....HA!