Lots of Love

Lucy will be coming home in two days!

It seems the doctors are going to wait on the second surgery. they want her to be stronger so she will continue with her physical therapy and once she is strong enough she will have the second surgery.

i am SO happy! i can't even put into words how i feel. i am relieved, happy, comforted, emotional, and very much in love. This whole experience has made me take notice of my love for both Sir Michael and lucy. i didn't realize how much i loved them. It is somewhat sad that it take something like this to make me see it. my heart thumps with so much love and respect for them it almost hurts.

i am thankful for my husband and my son
i am thankful for my Sir and lucy
i am thankful for my health
i am thankful for my ability to love
i am thankful for the love i receive from all the people in my life
i am thankful for my strength
i am thankful for all the support i feel here
This list could go on and on but these are the most important to me

Until next time......
melody

The Cage

This afternoon i spent a few hours in the cage. It has been some time since i did this and i actually had a really hard time with it. At one point i begged to be released. i usually can work threw moments like that but for some reason i couldn't talk myself down. i wanted out and Sir was not having it. He actually got really frustrated with me and gagged me.

i couldn't get myself into the right place to be there. i had a million and one things to do and that was all i could think about. i couldn't focus on my submission at all. Why am i struggling? Why would i struggle against something i generally like?

i am filled with guilt. i want to please Sir so badly it hurts.....but all i could do was think about myself. Why? Grrrrr.... i am really frustrated with my attitude. Sir told me i will be punished for pushing so hard and not listening. i think i deserve much more than a caning. i feel like a bad sub.

Until next time........

melody

Update/Question

lucy is doing good. Yesterday was a hard day for her...she was in a lot of pain. Today she seems to be stronger and feeling better. she will be starting physical therapy soon and so we are all excited about that. W/we also talked to the Doctor about her coming home. With the possibility of the other surgery still looming over U/us the doctors think it best for lucy to stay for at least two more weeks. Ideally they would like to see her have that surgery and not leave until after that recovery, but lucy is really feeling the itch to get home. Being in her own environment would be really good for her, but Sir is being very protective and cautious. He feels if the doctors want her to stay then she should stay....they wouldn't insist on it if she didn't need it.



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In my comments lee ann asked: How are you not jealous in your current situation? How are you okay with sharing Sir Michael with lucy?


W/we all really care for one another and it makes us happy to see each other happy and satisfied. There is a lot of love here in our world.

Our positions in the relationship are clearly defined. We maintain a very open line of communication. If there is any tension or someone is not happy we address it right away. This dynamic really works for us but it isn't always easy.

there is more i want to say here but i am out of time for today. i have read a few blogs that talked about poly relationships and also people who have to indulge their kinky desires by stepping out of their marriage or 'vanilla' world. i have lots to say but not enough time today....sorry.

More to come next time......
melody

A good day

lucy is doing SO much better today. i went to visit her and washed her hair and put her in her own pajamas so that she would be more comfy. she is moving around more and more each day which means she is getting stronger. We found out this morning that she may need to have one More surgery but we opted to give her more time to build some strength before we discussed it further. lucy really is adamant about not having any more surgery, she doesn't like be knocked out. Sir gave her this very stern look and told her that she would do what is needed to make herself the better, and if that meant surgery then that is what she would do. lucy just bowed her head and replied with a yes Sir. The doctors gave us all a strange look but Sir does not care one bit.

After we met with the Doctors i took Sir home and got Him situated with some lunch, magazines and a movie. i went back to the hospital and spent some much needed girl time with lucy. lucy is feeling really depressed. All she wants to do is serve Sir but she can't. i told her that she is serving Sir by getting better. The more she focuses her energy on getting better the faster she will regain her strength. we both cried and talked and hugged. It was so wonderful to finally be able to hold her in my arms.....without feeling like i was going to crush her. All in all it was a good day for us......and we really needed to reconnect emotionally. There is so much i want to say to her but i can't always find the right words.

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Sir asked me to write about something D/s related. He thinks it will help keep me focused. He told me that He is going to push and use me a bit more than usual and wants my mind to refocus on my submission. i agree!

Anyone have any ideas for me?? A questions or comment you would like my opinion on?

Until next time.....

melody

Letting it out

Today i cried. One of those cleansing cries that only happens so often. i feel so sad inside that i finally couldn't hold any more in. i feel much better now....ready to take on the next few months of hard work.

lucy is doing better and better with each day. A BIG thank you to all the support that has come in.

Until next time....
melody

Tired

i am exhausted. All day i run from one place to another....from home to work, then to Sir's house then back to my house to deal with my wee one then to the hospital and back to Sir's house. Sometimes i have to sleep at home or have my little guy stay with me at Sir's house. i am run down and a bit overwhelmed. All my free time i want to spend at the hospital but i can't. i have so many other responsibilities that i can't just be at the hospital.

i am tired and could definitely use a rest.

lucy is doing great. She is tired but definitely on the mend. It wills till be a long haul of rehabilitation but i think she will do great. It is comforting to know she is doing better. The stress of worrying about it and feeling total sadness inside. i am happy that she is getting better.

i am off to cook dinner.
Until next time.....
melody

An Adventure

lucy actually talked to us today for the first time!!!! Oh my god i am on cloud nine!!!!!

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This is from Sunday.....didn't get to finish it till today.

Great news......lucy is doing much better!!!! she is regaining strength everyday and seems to be maintaining a positive streak. We are continuing to be hopeful and are supporting her 100%.

i have a tendency to retreat into myself during times of intense emotional stress. i hate to be seen weak and i feel i must be strong for everyone else. If i am down and out then the whole world will fall apart....right???? HAHA! Sir is making write Him a daily email expressing how i am feeling? Where i feel weak and where i feel strong? and why? It has become a hard email to write because once i got past the easy emotions it becomes harder and harder. i have to go deeper and deal with some demons. i am feeling stronger than i have ever felt in my life and i know i am loved and supported. i just need to keep it real and not be sucked into myself. Sir is being great but He is pushing me.



i want to write about a surprise Sir gave me....or i suppose it was for Him, but man did i enjoy it too. i feel somewhat guilty for writing this with the hard emotional situation we are all in right now. Sir says we both needed a little release and He gets what He wants. Okay, so here goes.....


"Go up stairs, remove all your clothes and prepare yourself to be used." Sir whispers softly into my ear

"What? Please You must be kidding." my idiotic reply

Sir quickly grabs my hair, pulls my head back, and loudly repeats Himself.

"i am sorry Sir i forgot my place for a minute.....sorry Sir" my plead before the storm

i go upstairs and get myself ready. All the while thinking about what is in store for the evening. i was just cleaning figuring i would be cooking and cleaning most of the night.....well i was wrong! YIPPEEEE!!!! i felt my clit pulsing in excitement.

Once prepared i went back down stairs and presented myself to Sir. (arms behind my head, legs spread as wide as possible, back slightly angled to push my bottom out a little, cuffs and collar) Sir just looked at me for a long time and didn't say anything. He slowly walked around me and examined me and all my private parts. Probing me in all my sensitive areas. Then He reached in between my legs and i thought i was going to orgasm with the first bit of pressure on my clit. i practically lost my balance (which you do NOT want to do)

Sir informed me that our friend, Master Page, was coming over to help in the evening festivities. (Sir is unable to physically give me a proper beating so He had to enlist a little help) i was instructed to show Master Page complete respect and do everything He asked. Any hesitation on my part would result in punishment. i have to say that when i heard it was Master Page i felt immediately nervous. i am SOOOOO attracted to this man it is like a school girl rush. Every time He touches me i practically faint.

Moving ahead........

When Master Page arrived i served drinks and the men made casual conversation while i knelt in the corner trying not to fall over:) After drinks i was lead upstairs and my arms were strung up over my head and pulled very tightly. i was on my tip toes but i was given a pair of heels to help.....very much appreciated that. Sir went and put music on and Master page continued to tie me into place. No body said anything to me directly. they talked about em and to each other but not to me. i was like an object in the room and it felt very exciting!!! my legs were tied to two eye bolts in the floor. my breasts were bound with rubber bands and once they were plump and purple Master Page attached alligator clips to them. i screamed out in pain.......that was rectified rather quickly with a ball gag.

Once the men were satisfied Sir pulled a chair up right in front of me so i could see Him clearly. Then Master Page started in on my back and thighs. First with a leather flogger then a crop......then three different canes and a belt. After He was done with my back side He moved to my front making me scream from behind my gag. i seriously thought i was going to bust out of my binds i was straining so hard. my breasts were on fire and there was nothing i could do about it. i was given a few breaks in between instruments but this beating was a long, hard one.

i was taken down and held and supported by both men. i felt like a goddess.....a submissive one that is....hehehehehe. Sir told me i was to pleasure Master page as a thank you for His services. i eagerly took that cock in my mouth and gave that man a blow job like i hadn't had cock in years. It was beautiful and i loved it. Even if it wasn't Sir i did it for Him and that was enough.

Sir also informed me that i wouldn't be allowed to orgasm until He was the one to give it to me. my pussy throbbed with more excitement than it has in a long time. i LOVE orgasm control. As hard as it is i LOVE it!!!!! Sir was proud of me and i was content. A beautiful night!!!!

Quick Update

The last 24 hours have been a small blessing. lucy's vitals and lungs are doing much better. This has us all feeling very hopeful. I realize that some would like more detail but i am not ready to write it all out.

We are together and we are strong.

Sir is doing better with each day. If He would just rest then He would recuperate faster but He is the Dom.....Ugh! i wish He would listen to me at times. There really are times when the submissive is right........isn't there?

Sad News

It has been a long couple of weeks for us. About three weeks ago Sir Michael and lucy were in a car accident. Both had very serious injuries. Sir Michael came home a few days ago and lucy is still in the hospital. She is in critical condition and we are not sure what is going to happen.

i have been putting off coming here for it is really hard for all of us to accept. It is so hard when bad things happen and there is no rhyme or reason for it. i know everyone is waiting for the pictures and more updates on my Domme experience but i just haven't felt right about continuing on here like nothing happened. Sir Michael told me i had to at least post a quick update and when i am ready i am to write more about my Domme experience. He feels keeping me focused will help with all my emotions. i think He is right.

i am staying with Sir for a while to help Him around the house. He is on crutches and needs constant attention for He had to have two surgeries. We hired a nurse for the times when i am at school and then i pick up my wee one and off to Sir's we go. Everyone has been great support around us and together we will get threw this.

i apologize for our inconsistent posting and per my Sir's orders i will be posting regularly again soon.

Until next time.....

melody