Master's Home

Master is home!!!!!

Being without Him always gives me a new found appreciation for Him and the time we have together. It also put me in this mind set of being the perfect slave for Him upon His return. i did all my tasks and few extra things that i knew Master would appreciate. i prepared His favorite meals and served Him....being the patient, quite sub He expects during dinner service. i also did all the "extra tasks" Master left for me. These are things that i wasn't expected to do but should try if i had time. One of which was to masturbate in public and take a picture of myself. This one was really hard and i actually attempted it three separate days....Master found that part most amusing. We spent a wonderful evening together and Master used His slave well.

i actually have bruises on my bottom and breasts which is strange because i don't usually bruise. Master says its because i got soft while He was away, so He says the next few days He will toughen me back up....Oh thank you Master (very cheeky grin) i like that feeling of putting my breasts into bra trying not to feel the tender pain as i get them situated into their rightful place.....hehehehe.

Master is having a few friends visit from out of town....one of which is a good sub friend of mine from our old neighborhood. i am SOOOO excited to him. They will be spending the whole weekend and i think it will be lots of fun!! i have many tasks to do to prepare for their arrival and Master will be working from home and He said He is going to make my chores pleasurable for Him....Hmmmm? Right now i am stuffed full with a giant butt plug and a dildo the size of Mount Everest. i also have a posture collar on which i haven't worn in a long, long time...really since my training. i HATE the posture collar but love that Master likes to watch me struggle with it.

Master also told me a few things i could expect this weekend...
- i will be sleeping in the attic all weekend
- i will be used WELL this weekend
- i will be in full service mode and attend to everyone's needs...no matter what the need...Ahhh.
- i have no furniture privileges
- i have to use the bathroom outside...all the way in the back of the property.
- i will eat all my meals on the floor, beside Master
- i can not use my cell phone.....(this is very hard for me for i am a phone junkie)
Those are just a few to start....That's what Master said:)

Well i am off to start my chores....

Gratitude

i am bored!!!

i have been doing house work and different jobs around here that haven't been getting done. Master emailed me a list of tasks this morning.

1) Nipple clamps every two hours for 10 minutes...until bed time.
2) butt plug for as long as i can manage two times
3) spend twenty minutes kneeling in the corner (on that flippin sand paper). This is a time for me to reflect on my submission....and that fact that my knees are killing me.
4) Mow the lawn while wearing a crotch rope and breast bondage. (Have you ever tied your own breasts.....it can be a little difficult.) The mower is one of those ones you ride on and it makes quite the vibration on an already sensitive pussy...not to mention i detest yard work!
5) Sweep and mop all the floors.....Ugh!
Then there are my daily house hold stuff. Should keep me busy but i just rebelled doing each task and that made it difficult to get threw them. i still haven't finished the floors yet or the twenty minutes in the corner. If i don't complete the list i have to sleep in the attic on the floor...i DO NOT want to do that.

my mind has a hard time staying focused when Master isn't here. i can honestly say i feel like a slave lately....even without Him here.

Oh yeah and i am not allowed to leave the property until He gets home...unless there is an emergency. i hate being stuck here....i feel isolated and i know that is part of what He wants. He wants me to see how easily He could take away all the privileges He has given. How i need to learn to appreciate all he has allowed me to this year.....Because i could be doing this everyday. It isn't that i wouldn't like to serve Master all day but being home alone all day everyday does not appeal to me. So i guess i will focus on my gratitude and appreciation while in the corner tonight. Hmmmm....i wonder if thinking about orgasms is bad...That's part of my submission right??

Punishment

i got to speak to Master on the phone today....Yeah! Or so i thought it was to be a good phone call and then i heard His voice. It carried the all to familiar tone....the " I am going to be delayed coming home" tone....UGH!!! i am NOT happy at all. i immediately went into brat mode and the conversation did not end well. i was told to go into the attic, with my cell phone. Go straight to the corner...apply nipple clamps, kneel on the sand paper board and then wait for His phone call. AHHHH!

i had this moment of defiance where i thought, "what if i don't do it??" He wont ever really know would He? Atleast my good conscience got the best of me and i obeyed. Master made me wait 90 minutes for His call. i seriously thought i wasn't going to make it. i went from angry to sad to angry at myself and then back to sad....sad because i let my mouthy attitude get me into this position. Sad because i let Master down again and i should really recognize how lucky i am.

Master and i spent time talking and me begging for forgiveness. He did forgive me with a few smacks added to my list and then His last words to me were...."Remember lucy, it is my job to always know what my slave is doing. I am always watching lucy." How eerie is that? i knew deep down when i had those deviant thought that He would know if i didn't obey.......Wow, what a mind fuck huh!!!!

Sad and Alone

Master has been gone for three days now and i haven't much felt like writing. my best girlfriend is out of town too so i feel very alone. i have a ton of tasks to do that's for sure. i admit to loving tasks but after a while alone it isn't as much fun anymore. It actually makes me miss Master more....Ugh!! i wish i could just hope on a plane and fly to Him....kneel before Him and be home again!

Well on a task front i have been doing this nipple training thing...Because Master feels my nipples are not "tough enough" i thought my tongue was going to fall to the floor when He said that. The thing that made me shocked was that i couldn't imagine what He could possibly do to them that He hasn't already...and something that required them to be tougher than they were?? Wow.....this should be an interesting ride. Anyway, i have been wearing nipple clamps with and without weights everyday...Sometimes three times a day. my nipples are raw and cracked so bad already and i have five more days of this shit....OH Man!!!

i suppose i shouldn't bitch because i could have no Master and that would be worse than this.....but still it sucks sometimes. i really wish He was home at night to give them some of His attention....that would nake it all better....hehehehe

Whilrwind!!!

Things have been a whirlwind of stuff lately. It seems that Master has to take a trip to the east coast for work. He will be gone for ten days...which totally sucks. The one good thing about this is that He got the week off to prepare. (Master can work from home easily so they allow that before He takes an extended trip) Usually i would go on the trip with Master but with my vanilla commitments it is too difficult for me to go. Master was not excited about this because usually i can just go without a problem. i know He isn't happy about having to go alone and i fear He will make me give up my job so that i can be at His side. i know that is where my place is and my heart....but this new job is wonderful. It has opened a side to me that i didn't know existed. It made me see that i am so much more than a slave. Not ment in a bad way but i always thought that was all i needed. that was my purpose....but with this new venture out in the world i am really liking it. i am feeling more well-rounded and confident. Master just doesn't want these ventures to take over my life.

This week has been filled with lots of BDSM!! i have been on a tight leash to prepare me for His departure. i will go threw a period of depression after He leaves and Master is trying to prepare me for it now. He has started prepping me on my tasks that i will do daily while He is away. He has also set up the web-cam for us to use at night....FUN!!

i looked at myself in the mirror this morning and thought, "Wow, if the police saw me they would think i was being abused." It made me chuckle.......anyone ever felt that before. It is like my dirty little secret...one that could cause a lot of trouble if looked on by the wrong people. That makes me mad but i understand. This world is filled with abusive people and we are taught to be overly cautious. We are not as free as we used to be...That's for sure.

Anyone treasure their bruises? i do!!! i look at them often and admire my them. It makes me wet because it brings up all the feelings i went threw getting the bruises.....too much fun!!! One of my friends said i was sick and twisted. i laughed at her but the more i thought about it the more i realized that there is abit of truth to that statement. Hehehehehe!!

Well i am off to attic. Master said i had 30 minutes of computer time before i would be used for the night. my pussy is throbbing with excitement:)

Balance

Last night was another sensual night of play. It has been AMAZING!! It is strange how much i really needed this kind of intimacy with Master. It is like He is a mind reader sometimes.....then there are times when He doesn't have a clue. i guess it all evens out in the end....hehehe.

On a more personal note i am feeling emotional today. i do get to spend that day with a great friend and Master will be home tonight early....which is fantastic.....but why do i feel so down. i think it has a lot to do with my PMS. i turn into this emotional ball during my PMS time. i feel badly for men at times because PMS can be difficult for us woman to handle....i can't imagine having to deal with he residuals of it. Master is usually sympathetic....to a point. i can, under no circumstances, use my PMS as an excuse to act out. i have int he past but learned real quick that isn't appropriate.

i am finding it harder and harder to balance this new work life with my slave life. i am used to being 24/7 in slave mode. Before we moved here i wasn't out of the house much at all and anything extracurricular always involved Master. i think i am feeling the independence a bit. i like it but not as much as i act like i do. i don't want Master to take away my work, but i do want to be more His slave than an independent. i asked Him if we would ever go back to that 24/7 power exchange and Master looked shocked. He told me that the only reason He allowed the job was to give me a little something for myself. (and the money is nice) He told me i fought Him for months to get out of the house and now that i am i want back in the house. Gosh....subs can be so difficult!! Master told me we could restructure things anytime i wanted. Now i am in a stay of contemplation. i LOVE my work and my new bit of independence but yet i long to be at Masters feet all day....Hmmmm?

It actually felt great to have this conversation with Master. It always makes me feel better to know He is with me no matter how neurotic i get. Master said we can work on a better balance before we make hasty decisions. i have worked hard to develop my position at work, and it isn't something i feel i could walk away from easily.

well now onto a little fun....i am having some girl time today. ling and i are gong to get pedicures and a few spa treatments. i have never been toa spa and i am SO excited. i am also REALLY looking forward to the girl talk. i NEED that!!!! Should be fun!

More Tasks

Master got called into work and so i sit here alone with nothing to do. i thought this would be the perfect opportunity to make a post. i am back on my three times a week having to post....Ugh! i am starting to enjoy writing here, but i am enjoying reading other blogs more. i find it fascinating all the different people here. It is like this world i didn't even knew existed. The more i explore the more intrigued i become.

Last night Master planned a more sensual scene than i am used to. He teased me and tormented me very gently and deliberately. It was VERY erotic....i think that is the best word to describe it. i was tied spread eagle to the bed and He just played with me. No hard spanking or nipple torture.....just sensual play. Master did tickle me a lot which i totally hate!!! i always feel like i am going to pee myself when He tickles me. He is relentless and if i am gagged it is SO much worse. It was fun! i needed it and i think Master could sense that. my punishment was intense and we both needed to have some real intimacy.....and pure plain old fun!!

i was finally allowed to pleasure Master and that put the cherry on top of my sundea!!!

i have been told that i will be given a list of tasks each morning. These tasks will be easy enough to complete but will test my strength and will power. Hmmmm??? i can see the sadistic wheels turning:)

i am off to do some work around the house.....naked with a crotch rope. my breasts are bound with rubber bands and i am supposed to masturbate every hour for five minutes. Not allowed to orgasm...UGH!!! Should be an interesting afternoon.

Where did she go?????

Okay so i know it has been a while but i have a good excuse.....not one i am excited to share but a good one. i managed to get myself into a heap....BIG heap....of trouble. Master has been gratious enough to not making me share the details. THANK YOU MASTER!! i was on total restriction from anything outside of work and Master. my attention is now refocused and i have learned my lesson. i have been forgiven and we are moving forward.

i recently wrote a private journal to Master on how grateful i am. How lucky i am to have Him in my life. These emotions are hard for me to express sin this public forum, but the feelings are there. Master would ike for me to delve deeper into my emotion here but it is hard.


Now onto more fun....We are gong to a play party. We have made some new friends and have been invited to a party. i am extremely nervous because Master has not decided if He will use at the party or not. He is still thinking.....but i can see the evil grin....i can see the sadist inside Him arising tot he surface. i believe i am in for some public fun. this is the hardest kind of scene for me. i get all nervous and panicky. my mind wonders to all the little things the people around me are talking about. i am so vulnerable and can't keep my focus on Master. Then i can't get into my subspace and i end up acting out. i let my fears take over and totally loose my focus. One time i even screamed/ begging to be released before anything even started. i totally embarrassed Master and now that weighs heavily on me too. i don't want to embarrass Master.....in public none the less. Master says not to worry that He knows my limits and will only push me to do what He knows i can do. Master says we are going to work on a little focus training.....what ever that may be????

Regardless of my fears i know i am safe with Master. It should be interesting.

Questions 1-10

art asked
1) What would your 'perfect day' consist of?
A whole day with Master....of course lots of playtime!! We don't get enough time together with Master's work schedule.

2)Is there anything you would not do for your master?
NO!. There are things i might struggle with but i always try my best to give Him what He asks.

3)If you could change or have one thing in life what would it be and why?
i would like to reunite with my family. i was given away for adoption at birth and grew up in the foster care system. i have no real family....except for Master now.


floweringhana said...
4) Do you have any crushes on other people?
i would have to answer yes tot his question. There is one womani n my life that i have a little crush on. Master knows of my attraction to woman an tries to indulge Us when He sees the right woman.

5) What is the most exhibitionist thing you done?
When i was first collard Master asked me to show my piercings to His friend and i thought i was going to die. i am not much of an exhibitionist....very shy around others. Master is trying to change this because He would really like to show me off.

6) What has scared you the most with your Master?
His love of needles.

7) Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
i would love to be married and on my way to starting a family. Master has always said He doesn't want children but He has softened to the idea as our love grows. i know it sounds simple and silly to most but for me it is a dream. Having a family is something i have always wanted.

8) What is your favorite toy? why?
i like Masters belt. There is this closeness and warmth i feel from it as it slashes across my ass. i love how He takes off the one He is wearing and uses that one. i prefer everyday items for toys but that is just me. i do have to admit that i LOVE Masters ropes too. there is something so comforting about being bound under His control.....i feel safe and loved.

9) What is your least favorite toy? and why?
The Cane!!! i don't think i need to explain that one....hehehehe.

10) What is the hardest thing you Master has asked of you? And how have you overcome it?
Most new things seem hard at first but with training and support from Master i overcome my fears or apprehension. i do remember this one experience when Master asked me to pleasure His friend. i was instructed to kneel and suck His cock. It was a very hard mental exercise for me because i only wanted to give myself to Master. i had to change my mind set so that i recognized i was giving myself to Master by pleasuring His friend....for HIM! It was a strange change in my mental state. i felt like i was cheating on Master or maybe i wasn't worthy of His cock anymore. i have come to realize that every action Master orders of me isn't for anyone but Him. That was a hard one for me to overcome.

A New Task

Okay.....so i need a little help with this task from all you out there in blog/journal world. Master has been exploring other blogs and likes the post that Hana did with the questions. Master thought it would give other a chance to get to know me......So if you have any questions for me please post them in the comments. Master would like to see me answer 25 but any amount would be much appreciated. Anything goes!!!

Any help you can offer me with this task will make me eternally grateful!

THANKS!!!!